Quick biopsy update and new plans

Just had my 1 month follow from the LEEP and I am currently cervical dysplasia free!!  Yipee!  Next pap smear in 6 months.

At this appointment we also talked more seriously (we have been talking about it before now but the cervical stuff took precidence) about my iron deficiency and it’s symptoms etc (see this post) and how difficult life has gotten since having it.  So the planning has started for me to have a uterine cryoablation done.  I am one of those people who bleed very heavily every month so no matter how much iron I eat or take I just don’t make it up.  I’m in the middle of my 3 months of perscription therapy but not feeling any better yet.  The way this has to be planned I won’t be able to have it done until my 3 months of iron is done and my levels are rechecked anyway but he is confident that I won’t be any higher.  He feels this is my best option to a)get better and b) prevent it from happening again.

I’ll update more as it gets closer.

LEEP procedure

The biopsy results came back (see this post) and I have CIN 2.  This bought me a LEEP procedure.   It wasn’t  much different from my prospective than the colposcopy really.  Except that the cervical numbing  agent came in the form of a shot in the cervix instead of a spray…..OUCH!!!

The whole thing was pretty funny actually.  My doctor has a pretty dry sense of humor and usually also just tells it like it is.  For this reason we haven’t always gotten along so well.  In the past, he’s pissed me off more than once and now that I’m done having kids I had actually left him to have my primary (who is also women’s health) just do all my annual girlie stuff.  Let me tell you how much ribbing I’ve gotten for that!!  But lately we are getting along quite well.  We have finally come into a place where our personalities are meshing well.

So, here I am on the table for the second time this month awaiting a somewhat unpleasant procedure that could have potentially bad news.  This time anticipating a shot in the cervix so a bit more nervous.  He and I are chatting a little as he is preparing things and then the nurse and I start talking.  I can’t even remember what she and I are talking about just that I am paying particular attention to her.  All the sudden I get this HUGE pinch down there!!  I whip my head around to him and say “what the f? Could you have at least warned me?”  He starts laughing and says “well I figued you were so attentitive to your conversation you wouldn’t even notice.”  As he’s saying that he sticks me again!!!  I yell at him again and ask if that’s all the pain he’s gonna cause me and he says yes but that at anytime I should start feeling tachycardic (my heart would start racing).  It had about 10 seconds before he said it.  So I roll my eyes I tell him that he’s killing me!!  He just laughs.

Then I’m all numb and it’s time for him to do the actual LEEP procedure.  It uses this tiny knife with a loop at the end. Then they pass electric current thru it to cut out the abnormal areas.  They try and get all the abnormal areas out so that your are free of precancerous tissue.  It’s then sent to the lab to be analyzed to make sure they got it all.

Well this is my time for payback!!  I’m totally numb down there but he doesn’t need to know that!!!  Tee hee hee.  He goes in with the knife and starts cutting.   As soon as he does I yell “Ouch”!!  He jumps back and says “What happened” and I innocently say “nothing I’m fine but I got you didn’t I”!!!  The nurse about fell on the floor laughing.  She could barely contain herself.  Neither could I!  He didn’t think it was quite so funny since it was at his expense!  But I then said now we are even for not warning me about the shot.  He agreed and we moved on with the nurse and I still chuckling!!

He cut out my two areas (though made sure to show me that there were 3 pieces of tissue in the jar instead of 2 because of my little joke at which point I laughed again!!) and results should be in in a week.  Though I probably won’t get them until my next appointment in a month when I see him again to make sure all is healing well up there.

Colposcopy time

If you remember from this post or this post I had an abnormal Pap smear.  The next step was to have another one in a few months.  Well that one was even more abnormal.  So here I am just after having a colposcopy.  This is where the GYN goes up with a microscope and looks for the abnormal areas and takes as much as (s)he can out for biopsy.  I had 2 such areas.  Results should be back in about a week.

Still no answers

I had my nerve conduction study and EMG yesterday and am still no closer to a diagnosis.  Also got the results of the anti-MUSK antibodies bloodwork which was negative.  This doesn’t mean I don’t have myasthenia gravis (MG) but is leaning towards that NOT being the diagnosis. 

The doc who did the nerve conduction and EMG was really cool and I liked him a lot.  He was just as frustrated as I was during the test as he said he could tell that there IS something wrong with me based on the amount of muscle weakness he could elicit during his physical exam but the test just didn’t show it.  He tried hard to get something to show up but nothing did.  This is good and bad.  Good in that I don’t really want to have anything wrong with me but bad in that obviously something IS wrong with me but we just cannot figure out what.  And until we figure out WHAT we cannot treat it.   The next step in the process is to have some more bloodwork done today to test if my muscles have any inflammation in them.  And then in 3 weeks I go back to the hospital I was at yesterday and have another test called a single fiber EMG.  This will be the final determining factor as to whether this is MG or something else.  The doc said if this one is negative then it is something else and the next step is a muscle biopsy. 

I’m pretty scared and frustrated at this point.  I mean I turn 32 tomorrow and I feel like I’m turning 72.  I can’t walk up one flight of stairs without having to stop and catch my breath and having my legs feel like jello.  I drive somewhere and try and get out of the car and it’s not easy to do b/c my legs don’t work right.  I try making my Goddaughter a cake and it takes me twice as long as it should b/c stirring food coloring into the frosting is nearly impossible b/c my arms are so weak.  And the longer I sit at this computer typing the more double my vision gets.  Those are just some examples too.  What is wrong with me?????  My husband says I’m just out of shape!!  But I don’t think being out of shape causes all of this.  Today my muscles actually hurt on top of being weak.  I feel like I just competed in some sort of triathalon or something.  Or that I did some sort of extremely strenuous activity and used muscles I didn’t know I had.  But I didn’t.    I’m over it!!!

But at least I got good news on the pap smear that I said about in the last post.  I have to have it repeated in 4 months but the cells themselves are fine.  I had early pre-cancerous HPV changes 10 or so years ago and this time it just showed that the HPV virus is active again.  So it could turn pre-cancerous again at any time.

Seriously, one thing at a time please!!

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time then you know the struggle I’ve been having with my body with these myasthenia symptoms.  I go for my EMG test on Tuesday to get or not get the diagnosis.  You’ve also seen that I’ve been for the most part pretty upbeat and accepting of this being my new reality.  

Well all that changed with a phone message on Friday evening.  I’m now pretty messed up.  The message was from my doctor’s office saying that I needed to call them on Monday as they needed to discuss some test results with me.  Now, this was NOT my neurologist who is handling my myasthenia symptoms.  This was my regular internist who I just had a physical with on Tues and the ONLY test I had was a pap smear.  

Now, normally I wouldn’t just jump to conclusions but I did have an abnormal pap about 10 years ago that turned out to be early pre-cancerous changes.  It resolved on it’s own and I have been fine ever since but now this phone call.  And again, I’m sure that things will be fine but it’s another process to go through.  I have one process (the testing and then possible start of treatment for the MG) to go through and now you can add in another.  

As you can guess I’m having a WHY ME????? day today.  All I did all day was yell at my husband and kids.  And I felt bad all day doing it but at the same time I couldn’t help it.  I’m tired of being strong.  I’m tired of doctor’s visits no matter who they are for.  I’m tired of flying to Cleveland (for DH’s heart), or driving to Boston (for DD’s stuff…see her blog), or taking DS to the cardiologist, or this one to this or that one to that, etc.  And now add in two more kinds of visits……for me.  Enough already!!!!  

Though I do have to say that I had a great conversation with my Amma Jackie and several of my other friends who remind me that the Lord doesn’t give us more than we can handle and when it seems as if He is then we call on Him and each other to help.  It’s funny…I called Amma to ask for some scriptures to help strengthen me and we chatted for awhile too.  At the end she told me how much *I* helped her with her recent journey (her husband died recently).  And about how my call reminded her how He calls on each of us to help each other.  Isn’t that cool!  So, I’m trying to see that He does have a plan for everything.  I just wish I could better understand His current path for me!!!

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run , and not be weary ; and they shall walk , and not faint .

Psalms 57:1

Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge , until these calamities be overpast .